Have Query about Love? talk to Ciru
“No relationship in this world ever remains warm and close unless good effort is made on both sides to keep it so. —Eleanor Roosevelt.”
Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, once said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” However, if you’re in a one sided relationship, you probably feel the exact opposite.
A one sided relationship, or “unrequited love” is defined as: “Unrequited is used almost exclusively in the context of romantic love. If you love someone and they don’t love you back –– that, my friend, is a case of unrequited love,” by Vocabulary.com.
This can occur in a marriage, relationship or even a friendship. Below I am giving you signs to look for in relationships to help you see if they are one sided:
(1) You can’t rely on them however you are reliably there for them:
You generally have their back; you make them your need however they don’t respond. At this point, you have comprehended that you can’t depend on them for help. You know they won’t be there for you generally as you do.
(2) You always make time for them but they are “too busy” to be with you
Nobody is “too busy.” If they really want to be with you, they will set aside a few minutes for you. You manage time for them yet they give some vindication to avoid the date. If they can’t make time for you, isn’t that obvious they are not into the relationship?
(3) ‘Sorry’ is your frequently used word:
You need to apologize from time to time. They are continually discovering blemishes in least difficult and silliest of things. In the event that you are continually saying ‘sorry’ to the person you intend to spend your whole life with, you are doing no great to yourself. A man who adores you genuinely should influence you to like yourself, not the other way round.
(4) You feel that the relationship is more like an obligation for them:
From making plans to do something or asking them to go somewhere with you, you are the one who is taking the initiatives. You are the one who is doing everything to keep the relationship alive. Their ignorance and indifference make you feel that the relationship has become an obligation for them. And if you are feeling so, then probably, it is the reality. Perhaps it’s better to let them be on their own.
(5) You need to legitimize their behaviour to your peers:
Your family and companions are continually questioning their behaviour and you have to force yourself in justifying them. When somebody really adores you, it shows. People understand. You don’t need to act like their lawyer.
(6) You have included them in your life however they have warded off you from theirs:
Your peers know them; you are continually welcoming them to your close get-together s.. But they don’t make any effort to know more about you and keeps their private life a mystery. You don’t have any thought regarding their relatives and companions. Now and again you believe you are much the same as their associate or a colleague to them. If this is so, then you can be anyone to them but not their special someone.
(7) You are always on your guards when you are with them:
They don’t give you the space to open up to them. You are always on your guard when you are with them, thinking how they would feel and react. You hide your true self, those crazy sides you have fearing they will get turned off. If you can’t be comfortable with the person you are closest to, then what’s the point in keeping the relationship alive?
(8). You think twice before talking to them:
They are so busy that they don’t find enough time to make a quick call. If you call them, they will make you feel guilty of disturbing them. You are not even nagging them or demanding most of their time; it’s just a phone call but they don’t give a positive response to it too. If they are so distant, then perhaps it’s time you think about the relationship.
(9) They can’t communicate.
“When you have a complaint, their reaction is always annoyance instead of trying to understand and communicate with you. As if you need to be there as entertainment and anything negative coming from you is a burden on them.”
Having been in a one sided relationship at one point in my life, I can attest to this. Any complaint, or even just wanting to have a conversation, is greeted with attitude, annoyance and a look of pain.
If your partner isn’t willing to hear you out and make things work, then they don’t care about you. Let’s be real. A relationship is about working together, communicating and compromising. When someone greets you with annoyance, they just don’t want to put in the effort. It’s time to bounce if this is a constant in your relationship.
(10) You don’t come first, ever.
“You are rarely, if ever, a priority — even when you are together, they would rather be doing something else than spend time with you.”
This is the true tell-tale sign of a one sided relationship. You are not prioritized. You are a back-up. They would rather hang out with anyone other than you, and when they do hang out with you, they seem bored, annoyed, aggravated or are just dying to go be with someone else.
If they aren’t making time for you now, they never will. If your partner is doing this to you, find someone better who actually wants to make time for you. You will be far better off.